Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
