So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
