i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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