Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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