Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
