His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
