If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
