i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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