in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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