You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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