I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
