Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
