I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The Olympian is in my bed
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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