No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
