Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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