the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
