Plan B is the new Plan A
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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