he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
