just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
