Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
