he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I have feelings that need drinking.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
