What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
