could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
