Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
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bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
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Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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