things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
this will be a night to untag.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
