Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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