physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
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Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
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Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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