No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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