I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
