what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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