Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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