I don't remember. Are we still dating?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
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say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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