Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
