Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
