Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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