you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
