I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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