The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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