i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
