i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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