how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
