Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
