Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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