she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
