in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You're like the curious george of whores
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Randomize
