He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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