Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
