I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
