dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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