and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
