I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
