I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
