Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
