I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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