Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize