My hand turned me down
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize