Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize