Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
